A Guide to Supporting Friends or Family Members Struggling with Mental Health Issues
The holiday season is often seen as a time of celebration, joy, and togetherness, but for many, it can also trigger feelings of isolation, sadness, and stress. If you have a friend or family member who is struggling with mental health issues, the holidays can be particularly challenging. The pressure to be cheerful, the overwhelming social gatherings, and the unrealistic expectations often exacerbate feelings of anxiety, depression, or loneliness. But while you may not be able to “fix” everything, there are meaningful ways to support your loved ones and help them navigate the festive season with care and compassion.
Understanding the Impact of the Holidays on Mental Health
Before diving into how to help, it’s important to recognize the unique challenges the holidays bring to those dealing with mental health issues. Whether it’s depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, PTSD, or even general stress, the holiday season can intensify these conditions in different ways. The constant buzz of social gatherings, the strain of financial pressures, the absence of loved ones, or the fear of being judged for not feeling “festive enough” can all contribute to a worsening of mental health symptoms.
For some, the holidays bring an overwhelming sense of loss—whether it’s the loss of a loved one, a relationship, or the idealized version of what the season “should” be. For others, the stress of maintaining a facade of happiness, coupled with family expectations, can feel suffocating. So, it’s crucial to approach the situation with empathy, patience, and understanding.
Be There, But Don’t Push
One of the most important things you can do for someone struggling with mental health issues during the holidays is simply to be there. Sometimes, just knowing that you’re available and willing to listen can provide immense comfort. But being there doesn’t mean pushing them to “snap out of it” or to feel more festive.
Take Jamie, for example. She had been struggling with depression for a few years, and the holidays made it even harder. Instead of pressuring her to attend every holiday party or join in on every tradition, her friend Sarah simply offered her company—no strings attached. She let Jamie know that she didn’t need to be “happy” or “perfect” to be loved and supported. Sometimes, Jamie would sit quietly with Sarah, and that was enough. On other occasions, Jamie would share her feelings of isolation, and Sarah listened without judgment. That simple act of being present made a huge difference.
The key is to offer your support without expecting anything in return. Avoid giving advice unless it’s explicitly asked for, and instead focus on providing emotional support. Sometimes, being a calm, non-judgmental presence is the best thing you can do.
Encourage, But Don’t Force Participation
Many people with mental health struggles feel the pressure to attend social gatherings, even when they don’t have the emotional energy to do so. This is where your understanding can make all the difference. While you can gently encourage your loved one to participate in holiday activities, it’s essential to respect their boundaries. If they express hesitation or simply don’t want to attend a gathering, don’t push them. Instead, offer alternatives like a quiet coffee date or a casual get-together where they won’t feel overwhelmed.
In a recent conversation with her friend Anna, Lara learned the importance of this kind of understanding. Anna had been battling anxiety and depression for years, and the thought of attending her family’s big holiday dinner always brought her a sense of dread. This time, instead of pushing her to join, Lara offered to spend Christmas Eve with her watching movies and having takeout. Anna appreciated the invitation and the freedom to decline without guilt. Sometimes, it’s the small gestures of understanding that mean the most.
If they do decide to join a gathering, be sure to check in on them beforehand and offer support. Let them know that it’s okay to leave early if they need to, or that you’ll be there for them if they feel overwhelmed.
Offer Practical Help and Encouragement
The holidays can sometimes bring additional stress due to the numerous responsibilities people may feel they have to fulfill—shopping, decorating, cooking, and hosting. For those already dealing with mental health challenges, these tasks can feel insurmountable. Offering practical help is a simple yet effective way to show you care.
You might offer to help with holiday shopping, run errands, or even prepare a meal together. One of the most impactful gestures for a friend like Emily, who was dealing with anxiety, was when her coworker, Liz, offered to help her wrap gifts. This small act of kindness lifted a huge burden from Emily’s shoulders and helped her feel less isolated. It’s not about taking over, but about making their load a little lighter, so they can focus on what truly matters—taking care of themselves.
Another way to offer support is by encouraging self-care. Suggest a relaxing holiday activity that doesn’t come with the pressure of being “festive,” like a walk in the park, a yoga session, or simply curling up with a good book. For someone struggling with mental health, being reminded to take a break or relax can sometimes be the best medicine.
Normalize the Need for Professional Help
As much as we want to be there for our loved ones, there are times when the best thing we can do is encourage them to seek professional help. The holidays are not a substitute for therapy or counseling, and it’s essential to acknowledge that mental health struggles sometimes require more than what friends and family can provide.
If your loved one is open to it, gently encourage them to seek professional help. Let them know that it’s okay to ask for assistance, and that there’s no shame in taking steps toward healing. If you know they’re already in therapy, offer to help with logistics, like scheduling appointments or offering a ride. Let them know that they’re not alone in seeking help, and that professional support is an essential tool in navigating mental health challenges.
Be Mindful of Triggers and Expectations
The holidays can be a minefield of potential triggers for those struggling with mental health issues. For some, family gatherings might evoke painful memories or lead to feelings of inadequacy. For others, certain holiday traditions might highlight feelings of loneliness or grief. It’s important to be sensitive to these triggers and offer your support accordingly. If you’re aware of certain topics or situations that may be difficult for your loved one, try to steer the conversation in a positive direction or offer to leave the room if the discussion becomes overwhelming.
Additionally, be aware that your loved one might not always act in a way that aligns with what others expect during the holidays. They might not be as enthusiastic, or they might prefer solitude. This is okay. Let them express their feelings without judgment, and reassure them that it’s okay to take a different approach to the season than what is traditionally expected.
The Gift of Presence and Understanding
Helping a loved one through a tough time during the holidays isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about showing up with compassion, understanding, and patience. Whether it’s offering your presence, helping with practical tasks, or simply being there to listen, the gift of emotional support can make a world of difference. Remember that mental health is a journey, and the holidays can be an especially tough time for those who are struggling. By offering your love, support, and understanding, you can help your friends and family members feel less isolated and more cared for.
This holiday season, remember that what your loved ones need most may not be material gifts or holiday cheer—it may just be the gift of a safe space, where they can be themselves without the pressure to conform to societal expectations. Your presence, compassion, and willingness to listen can make all the difference in how they experience the season.
