For some people, shame can become a chronic problem. They may be constantly comparing themselves to others, berating themselves for their flaws, and feeling like they’re not good enough. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health problems.
If you’re struggling with shame, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. And there are things you can do to cope with shame and build self-compassion.
One of the first steps is to identify your triggers. What are the situations or thoughts that make you feel ashamed? Once you know your triggers, you can start to develop strategies for coping with them.
For example, if you’re triggered by making mistakes, you could try practicing mindfulness. This means paying attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment. When you make a mistake, instead of beating yourself up, you can simply acknowledge the mistake and let it go.
Another important step is to challenge your negative thoughts.
When you’re feeling ashamed, your mind might be telling you things like “I’m a failure” or “I’m not good enough.” But these thoughts are often not true. They’re just the voice of shame talking.
You can challenge these negative thoughts by asking yourself questions like:
- Is there any evidence to support this thought?
- Is there another way to look at this situation?
- What would I say to a friend who was feeling this way?
It’s also important to be kind to yourself. This means treating yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would treat a friend. When you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, forgive yourself and move on.
Building self-compassion takes time and practice. But it’s worth it. When you learn to be kind to yourself, you’ll start to feel better about yourself and your life.
Here are 4 tips for building self-compassion:
- Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to the present moment without judgment. This can help you to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings, and to challenge the negative ones.
- Use self-affirmations. Self-affirmations are positive statements that you repeat to yourself. They can help to boost your self-esteem and remind you of your strengths and abilities.
- Spend time with loved ones. Spending time with people who love and support you can help you to feel more connected and less alone.
- Do things that you enjoy. Doing things that you enjoy can help to boost your mood and make you feel more positive about yourself.
If you’re struggling with shame, please know that you’re not alone. There are many resources available to help you. Please reach out for help if you need it.